Posted in The Mom Blog

Perfection is Overrated!

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I will be the first to admit that I am NOT a perfect mother. In fact, I think I criticize myself more than anyone else. It that a healthy way of doing things? Probably not. Am I going to take care of it? Of course! One thing I can definitely say, though, is that I wouldn’t trade a single bit of it for anything. I mean, let’s be honest here for a minute. I know for a fact that I’m not going to win the mother of the year award. I don’t know of a single person who would.

However, my mom didn’t win it either, and neither did my grandmother or my great-grandmother. That doesn’t matter though. Yeah, my mom screwed up from time to time with me. I’m sure my grandmother did it with her as well. That doesn’t make them bad moms though. It makes them real. If it wasn’t for them and the way I have been raised, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, sitting here writing a blog (something I SWORE I would never do…) with the primary purpose of figuring out a program so that I can better use it in my day to day life.

My house wouldn’t be clean (yeah, there’s a couple of things I COULD clean, but there’d be a lot of people who would be pretty upset with me if I interrupted their sleep…), my kids wouldn’t be fed, and there’d be an extremely long list of things that needed to be done. So, so sum up a long, rambling statement about not being perfect, no, I’m not. But my kids seem to think I’m pretty cool.

 

Posted in The Mom Blog

Taking care of Self – My “I am human” Post

Something new I’m going to try here. I guess it’s kind of a challenge for myself, first and foremost, but if you want to join in you’re more than welcome!

Taking care of myself has to hands-down be the biggest thing that I struggle with. I am very much an introvert (which means the fact that I’m sitting here writing this right now is a HUGE struggle for me, because it’s me showing you my vulnerabilities…) so it makes it difficult for me to allow others to lend a helping hand. This in turn means that I tend to take things on myself and not allow others into my bubble- feelings, thoughts, emotions, even physical well-being issues are things that I tend to keep to myself.

Today was a very low point for me. It started out ok, but as I was taking my kids back to meet with my ex-husband, things started to take a southern turn. I began to dwell on those things that I have been terribly unhappy with, and in turn I was in a very bad place by the time I got to work this afternoon. I continued my day like that until a friend of mine came into the shop having an panic attack, similar to those I’ve been dealing with for many years. After trying to help pull this friend out of their negativity bubble, I realized that things go a lot easier when you open up to someone. 

Now, for a lot of people, this means going to a therapist, or counselor, or psychiatrist, or even a psychologist. And while those people are well-trained to help out in these situations, I feel it does you no good if you don’t have the support of the people around you as well. So, I have decided to make myself a list. (You’ll notice as time goes by that I’m very much a list maker. It tends to keep my thoughts in better order so I can see things more clearly…)

This list, as you will see, includes three different sections. One for physical health, one for mental health, and one for emotional health. While the last two tend to be somewhat similar, in my mind they equate to two completely separate sections. Under each section there is a list of “goals” that I want to try to accomplish. Now, that being said, I feel that only focusing on one section at a time while neglecting the others is no a wise option, so I will be working on different parts of each section every day! (This DOES mean that there will be more lists in the future!) At the bottom of this goal sheet, I have put a phrase that reminds me that things are forever changing.

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So, if you choose to join in on this challenge with me, here are the rules.

  1. Make a list of those things that you are struggling most with in your life.
  2. Break down each thing on that list into the Physical, Mental, or Emotional categories.
  3. Share your list. (*Note* You do NOT have to share it here if you feel uncomfortable doing so! Share your list with someone you trust.)
  4. If you’re comfortable with doing so, keep me posted on how you’re doing!

I’d love to hear from you on the strides that you are making with overcoming your obstacles!

So, are you up for the challenge?

 

 

(Please note, I am not a certified physical or mental health care professional, so the thoughts and opinions that I have posted here are solely mine. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or are experiencing other major health issues, PLEASE contact your care giver or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their site at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. These people are trained professionals and are available to talk to you 24 hours a day. And always, ALWAYS, consult your doctor before beginning any treatment or regimen outside of those prescribed for you!)

Posted in The Mom Blog

A long awaited deep breath

I cannot tell you just how much I’ve missed these guys! It sucks having had them be away for so long, but it’s amazing having them home. Surprisingly, I don’t mind the bickering, the having to tell them 20 times to pick up the different messes they’ve left today, the constant in an out and slamming of the door… I’m honestly just glad, and feeling blessed, to have them here.

Posted in The Mom Blog

One more day!

Actually, less than 24 hours now, and I finally get to have my kiddos home!

This is all part of a very messy custody battle stemming from our divorce 2 years ago. I won’t lie, the entire situation right now kills me, particularly since our 4 children have been dragged into the middle of it.(More on that later.)

But they’ll finally be home!

Before they get home though, this mom has a LOT of stuff to do. From cooking to cleaning, the work never ends. I have two rooms to organize, laundry to wash, snacks to make, dinner to plan, and all with just over 12 hours to accomplish it all. Unfortunately, since I worked so late last night, I haven’t been able to sleep yet, which means that I have to try to take a nap at some point this while the little is doing her enrichment classes today. 

Oh, but it will all be worth it! I don’t want to have to stop having fun with all of them to clean something that should have been done sooner, so it looks like I’ll be up a while!

What are your plans for the weekend? 

Posted in The Mom Blog

Children are awesome… (Not entirely being sarcastic, either.)

​Today’s random thought- Children are awesome. They’re these beautiful, obnoxious, little creatures that act exactly like their parents, which is why we get so irritated with our own kids. A child is single-handedly able to point out every last flaw you have while still making you want to snuggle with them. Now that’s talent! But, the truly amazing, completely fucked up thing about children is, they only live what they learn. Children start out completely un educated, in any aspect. They don’t know hate, or love, or honor, or respect, or anything else until we (or others) teach them this. Children start out pure, until we and others like us come into the picture. We try to make sure our children are knowledgeable, but to do that,  they must know both sides. Black and white. War and peace. Love and hate. They must also understand that nothing is purely one or the other, that one cannot exist without the other. How can you recognize love without having experienced hate? How could you tell good without ever having seen evil? 

Children will become the type of person they are exposed to. They will learn from our actions and inactions, so please, choose your words and actions wisely. Be the type of person you want your child to grow up to be.

Posted in The Mom Blog

Muddy handprints

As I’m laying on my bed right now trying to prepare myself for another long night at work, I find myself thinking about my kids. My fiancée got somewhat upset that our 6 year old left a muddy handprint on our bedroom window a little while back. As I look at it now though, I’m reminded of something my mom said to me a few years ago. 

“Enjoy it while it lasts.” 
My kids won’t be little for long. Just look at my 12 year old son. Every day, the opportunity to play with them and teach them gets smaller and smaller, and soon enough they’ll be on their own, attempting to navigate the world.

I don’t want to wait until the last minute to be a part of their lives. I don’t want to be so consumed by work or household chores or family politics that I fail to see them actually grow. I want to be their guide, their inspiration, their rock. I want to show them that life may not always be easy, but it’s worth it. I want to look back, at the end of the day, and know that my kids know I love them and am happy to have them in my life.

So yes, it may be a muddy handprint on my window, but it’s also a sign that life was lived and joy was had. 

What types of things encourage you to evaluate your participation in your kids lives?

Posted in The Mom Blog

Even in the dark, there is light…

My 9 and 8 year-olds were talking to me tonight about their father and I, and why we split up. In fact, my 9 year-old was in tears. Mind you, their father and I have been separated for almost 8 years and divorced for just over a year and a half.

Both he and I have tried explaining to them on several occasions that due to our personal animosity towards each other, we felt it best to part ways for their sakes, however our younger two children do not understand this.

And so, as I spoke to my girls tonight, I explained to them that everyone comes into your life for a reason, but not all of them are meant to stay, and that sometimes people grow so differently from each other that their relationship no longer is what is best for them.

At the end of our conversation, I left my girls with the following phrase, and told them to seek me out when they understand it’s meaning. I told them,

“Even in the dark, there is light.”

While I don’t expect them to understand this for many years, I have faith that once they grasp the meaning, they will begin to see the world so much differently than they do now.

However, I have to ask myself, how many people truly understand the meaning of this phrase? What do you think it means?